2018 was a tumultuous year by anyone’s standards. It was a year of politicking and upheaval, awash in all that is aware and new. The shifting sands below have many looking heavenward for a sense of equilibrium. Astrology is a tool that many believe can help you find your footing during these uncertain times — when knowing what not to do is as important as knowing what to do. With that in mind, what are the major relationship mistakes to avoid making in 2019, based on your zodiac sign?
2018 had so many planets going into retrograde that even the most-studied astrologists had trouble keeping pace. (Freaking Mercury, am I right?) Thankfully, Kyle Thomas, award-winning astrologer from Love by Luna, tells Romper that this year will hopefully be a bit calmer thanks to a more settled state of the stars (and also Congress). Like most things, your attitude about 2019 and your approach to the year will make a big difference in how it unfolds for you. Should you delete Tinder? Is this the year you finally get your husband to pick up his socks from wherever he leaves them? (Not bloody likely.) No matter what’s coming, Thomas is here to tell us what the cosmos are saying.
1 . ARIES: DON’T BURN TOO HOT OR YOU’LL BURN RIGHT OUT
Do you hear Alicia Keys “This Girl Is On Fire” playing in your head 24/7? That’s because you are, according to Thomas, who tells Romper that if you’re an Aries involved in a “hot and heavy relationship,” you need to “take a deep breath and chill out.”
“Don’t become too impulsive and rush right in,” he warns. Yes, Aries often “run a mile-a-minute and tend to get lost in your own explosion of fire. You’re clearly going to rise, but don’t burn yourself or your love out before you get there. No empire flourishes if you’re too tired to lead it.”
2. TAURUS: LET IT GO
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, fellow Taureans: “Let go, Taurus, and stop digging your heels into the ground just to make a point. Life is about growth, not getting your way.”
Thomas is right, but I view my stubbornness as a gift that gets me what I want. Apparently it can be antithetical to my desires when I become a jerk about it. In love and in life. Fellow Taureans, this is the year to chill a bit and let your love take the reins for a minute. (Only a minute, though. 60 seconds. No longer.) Unless, of course, you’re better off riding solo: “Stop holding onto toxic relationships,” says Thomas. “If someone isn’t going to be ‘ready’ to be with you or isn’t going to put in the work to make it happen, release them. You’ll actually finally feel free because of it.”
3. GEMINI: FACE YOUR FEELS & DON’T RUN AWAY
This year, emotions are like DEET and you are the mosquito, flying away from them as fast as your wings will take you.
“The moment emotions and ‘the feels’ tend to occur, you are faster than a whirlwind to fly out of there if you feel uncomfortable, Gemini,” says Thomas.
While this may save you from an unsavory experience, it can also prevent you from understanding life’s true joys. A better approach: “Communicate your own feelings authentically and don’t run away because you are meant for happiness, even if at times it can come through some growing pains.”
4. CANCER: SAY GOODBYE TO BAGGAGE
Crabs have shells for a reason, right? But sometimes, they become less protective and more of a cover for your own fears and insecurities, and that won’t help you when you’re dealing with a relationship or looking for a new one. Thomas says, “…don’t get lost in your own emotional shell. Yes, life can be hard at times, but there’s no point in beating yourself up about things that happened before. Let go of the baggage.”
5. LEO: SHARE THE SPOTLIGHT
Say it with me: “Progress over perfection.” As true lions, Leos are forever seeking perfection and often eschewing anything that doesn’t hit that bar or exceed it, and this can mean missing out on a lot. “You radiate and shine, but don’t shun someone in your life if things aren’t exactly perfect,” says Thomas. Just like a prism bends light into a rainbow, sometimes we must see things in a different color to understand its beauty.
6. VIRGO: CUT BACK ON THE CRITICISM
Virgos, if you find yourself about to begin a sentence with the word “Actually… ” stop. Just stop. You can be overly critical due to your high standards, and it might not always endear you to your partner or potential mates. “Even if your relationships, projects, and plans don’t match up precisely with your initial vision, that’s okay. Even though you always tend to mean well, don’t be too critical all of the time. This doesn’t warm people’s hearts. It pushes people away,” notes Thomas.
7. LIBRA: DON’T SELL YOURSELF SHORT
Such a peacemaker you are, but you can get lost in all of that peacemaking and acquiescing to your partner’s desires. “You have talents and genuine intellect on your own, so don’t let your opinions fall away just because that seems easier than standing up for what you feel. Know who you are and don’t lose yourself in your partnerships, Libra, and stop forgetting what you bring to your union with other people,” says Thomas.
8. SCORPIO: GIVE UP YOUR GRUDGES
Holy cow can you ever hold a grudge, Scorpios. I understand the desire, I do, but you need to let that junk go. It can poison your good relationships, if you let it. Thomas says that Scorpios “hold onto pain with a vengeance, but that doesn’t mean that the next person who you encounter is your ex or is going to hurt you like other people from your past have. Stop projecting that venom onto them.”
9. SAGITTARIUS: DON’T LOSE SIGHT OF WHAT YOU REALLY WANT
If there were a bungee-jumping constellation in the sky, it would be the sign of Sagittarius. ‘You’re a wild one,” says Thomas, which means you sometimes get too wrapped up in the adventure of love without remembering what you really need in a relationship. “You get distracted and scattered at times, so just be upfront and honest with your intentions, even if it’s just that you want to have fun and fly with freedom,” says Thomas.
10. CAPRICORN: PUT PRACTICALITY ASIDE
Hello, practical Patricias. It can seem like it would be easier to avoid the mess that comes with relationships rather than muck it out with a partner, but that won’t bring you your true joy. “Don’t cut out your heart and get cold when it comes to your emotions just because it’s easier to do that,” says Thomas. “You’ve got to listen to your feelings and your heart sometimes, even if it’s not entirely practical. Happiness and love are worth it, so don’t run away.”
11. AQUARIUS: GET OUR OF YOUR HEAD
Your lists have lists. You make a pros and cons chart for everything from which hand lotion to buy to whether or not falling in love so soon after a breakup is a good idea. “Don’t just intellectualize your feelings, because your feelings are beautiful and real,” says Thomas. There is no list for your heart. He adds that you should try to occasionally “listen to other people and let what they have to say sink in.”
12. PISCES: USE YOUR ILLUSION
Sweet Pisces. This year, you’ll need to take just a dash of bitter with all that sugar. “You’re mystical and a fantasy come to life for those around you,” says Thomas, “until you get lost in your own illusions.”
Diving in too fast to new relationships without considering the realities could send you “running away in terror” when the partnership doesn’t match up to your fantasy vision, Thomas warns.
“You have such vibrant and beautiful emotions so let love, and life, happen organically rather than continuously being hammered by the storm and being lost like a candle to the wind,” he says.