When it comes to love, what men and women want are vastly different! While dating and searching for our future partner, men and women are looking for very different things.
These dissimilar needs and expectations cause us to appreciate different qualities in each other, often resulting in us being attracted to someone much different than ourselves. After we decide to spend the rest of your lives together, these needs must be met or we may find ourselves feeling disappointed and cheated.
As we become more comfortable in our relationship, the extra effort and romantic gestures may begin to dwindle as bad habits enter your relationship and start to destroy it.
You may call this “just being real” or “settling in”, but it can slowly take its toll on your perfect romance. Regardless of what you call it, a decision to stop putting in the effort is centered on laziness, self-centeredness, or the unrealistic belief that your partner will never leave you.
For men, it can be difficult to truly understand what makes their woman happy and contented. But, if they are willing to put in some effort and truly get to know their wife, they will find that she isn’t as complicated as they may think. What women want most in a husband isn’t just a desire – it is a physical and emotional need!
Below are 5 things a woman needs in her life – from her husband!
1.) TOTAL TRUST IN HIM
Trust is the cornerstone to every relationship! When trust doesn’t exist, a relationship can never thrive. To feel secure in her relationship, a woman must be able to fully trust her husband. This means that she needs to know about his past and present life.
Men often feel hesitant to let the woman in their life know about something regrettable from their past, but this may actually cause her to grow closer to him! By entrusting her with this information, he has shown her that she can trust him to be honest and that she won’t be surprised by this information in the future. Withholding information and lying are two disastrous problems in many marriages!
We also make it a priority to share everything. Although some of our friends have separate bank accounts, we have joint accounts. We know each other’s passwords to every social media account and allow open access to each other.
Neither of us is a super jealous person and almost never look at each other’s phones unless it is for a specific purpose. However, by sharing everything, our marriage has never suffered from a lack of trust or misunderstandings. (Not to mention that I am married to a wonderful and trustworthy man.)
Think about it! If you picked up your spouse’s phone and they grabbed it from you and said, “Don’t open my phone!” what would you think? Immediate distrust, right!
Before you get married, you should sit down and let each other know your biggest insecurities. This is where trust needs to be built and maintained. Is there anything in your past that needs to be disclosed? Is there information that may hurt your partner in the future? If you are currently married, make sure that you both have an understanding of each other’s insecurities. Make these top priority and your marriage will benefit from it!
Men, if you don’t like hugs, holding hands, cuddling close, or showing affection to your wife (flowers, notes, etc.), you are missing out on a HUGE opportunity to tell her how much she means to you. By nature, most women are more “hands-on” and affectionate. Think about it! How often do you see women hug each other, send a card or flowers to a friend, or let others know that they care about them?
To women, affection is something that is very difficult to live without because it is in our nature to be sensitive to the emotional needs of others. When our husbands are affectionate, it symbolizes comfort, protection, approval, and security in our relationship. It makes us feel wanted and taken care of!
Men, there are hundreds of ways to show affection to your wife! Holding hands while walking, phone calls or texts during the day, a back rub, a kiss when you see each other after work, a bouquet of flowers. Each day, small gestures of affection can make a big difference in your relationship. She needs your affection!
3.) REAL & DEEP CONVERSATION
When it comes to talking, women are looking for open and honest communication. If you are anything like me, I love conversation because it is a fun and bonding experience! When I ask my husband for his opinion, I’m not looking for a 3-word answer. I am looking for his honest opinion!
While dating, most men make an effort to have genuine and interesting conversations with the woman they are pursuing. They are trying to get to know her and impress her with a fun time! However, once they’ve “got the girl”, this effort may dwindle, creating a life of frustrating boredom for the woman.
To women, intimate conversation makes us feel cared for and connected. This means, put your cellphones down and turn the TV off! On a daily basis you should find some time to sit down, look at each other and give your undivided attention to a conversation. It is an important part of a healthy and happy marriage!
Commitment can be shown in many different areas of your life – commitment to your wife, job, children, faith, and goals. A committed man proves himself to be a secure and trustworthy life partner!
While we were dating, I saw that my now-husband was committed to three things: me, his career, and his financial goals. His goals were exemplary and he was consistent. To me, that was incredibly sexy! As a married couple, I never feel that I come in second to any of his commitments – I know that I am always his #1 priority! That is the most important commitment in every marriage.
As a man, you need to make commitments and stick to them! Perhaps you can always have dinner together as a family, go to church together, create and keep a budget together, and complete projects together. To a woman, commitment = trust. And commitment is sexy!
Security comes in two-parts: financial security and physical protection.
With many households having a double income, both the man and the woman working outside the home, there are many differing opinions regarding the man providing the “financial security” . However, surprisingly, this is still the case!
Many studies have been done asking both men and women if they would consider “marrying for money.” Meaning, would they have married their partner if they knew that they would not have a full-time job in a few years. Almost every time, the woman’s answer is “No!” The majority of men answer, “Yes.”
Why is this? Because a man having a job is a form of security for the woman – and that is one of her basic needs!
I have watched many of my friends opt for quitting their professional careers or working part-time to raise their family – and their husbands are happy and willing to be the main bread winners. This proves to them that their husband is willing to provide financial security to them and their family.
Secondly, a man can bring a sense of physical protection to a woman’s life that makes her feel very cared for and loved.
While dating my husband, he couldn’t believe that I would go to the gas station or grocery store at night in the bad part of town. Yes, I did have some very scary encounters and he would insist on coming with me from then on! I felt so cared for, loved, and protected by him!
Men love to be seen as the protectors! The whole “Knight in Shining Armor” syndrome is something they naturally have and want to be for their woman. As a woman, it is ok to allow him to meet this need in your life, letting him know that he is “the man”! And obviously, a protective man can be very sexy!
Every marriage and relationship is a two-way street. Unfortunately, many couples do not put in the effort to truly discover what their partner really need.
In marriage, men play an important role in meeting their wife’s needs – with love and understanding. Take the first step and sit down with your partner and talk through your relationship needs. Awareness is the first step in the journey.