In today’s dating world, something that happens quite often is ghosting. You meet someone who has potential, text back and forth, maybe go out, and suddenly they disappear. They stop replying to texts, and you never hear from them again. Often the frustration doesn’t come from the idea someone doesn’t want to be with you, it’s the fact they don’t have the courtesy to communicate it. So in an effort to find out why, Romper did some digging for reasons a guy will ghost on you.
Although there are plenty of reasons someone may ghost you, surprisingly most of them had nothing to do with the person being ghosted. Instead, it’s comforting to remember that someone may ghost you because of their own personal issues, and holding yourself accountable really isn’t necessary.
Whether you feel it’s something you’ve done, a personality trait that’s making you incompatible, or a personal issue on the other party’s end, there are a few common reasons Romper gathered as to why guys feel the need to ghost. Although ghosting, in my opinion, is far from the most upstanding way to cut ties with someone, there’s no denying it’s becoming more and more common. So, check out some of the reasons why here.
1 Fear Of Not Living Up To The Hype
Sparrow, 27, admits that he’s ghosted before – primarily out of fear he may come across as underwhelming. He shares, “I have good pictures, a nice job and security, [but] sometimes when I realize that all of those things are positive, there’s a chance I might not live up to that in person.”
According to Adam, 27, the main reason he’s ghosted is pretty black and white: his “own damn insecurity.” He shares that sometimes vanity leads to fear and anxiety, which can make ghosting seem like the more comfortable option.
3 Things Are Moving Too Fast
Although Ryan, 28, shares that it’s refreshing when a girl makes the first move, it can sometimes turn sour if she’s always reaching out without any pursuit from him in return. Both Ryan and Derek, 26, share that their biggest reason for ghosting is when someone gets too attached too quickly.
4 Noticing Trust Issues
If there hasn’t been a chance to establish trust, but someone is already showing issues with boundaries, Ryan, 25, says it’s a reason for him to ghost. One example in particular Ryan gives is when a potential girlfriend starts looking through his phone. He says, “I’m not doing anything untrustworthy, so you don’t need to search my phone.” Otherwise, you may not see another message from him pop up on yours.
5 They Think You Don’t Want Their Explanations
Scott, 30 says that he has no problem sharing why he may not want to continue seeing somebody, but oftentimes other people aren’t open to it. Because of the dating and hook-up mentality where moving on without a word is quickly becoming the norm, it can feel more commonplace to ghost rather than tell the other person something they may not accept.
6 You’re Rude
According to Prachyut, 30, dealing with a person who’s rude in nature is his number one reason for ghosting. It doesn’t matter what other attractive aspects there are, if being mean-spirited is part of the package.
7 It Means Avoiding Confrontation
Matt, 30, shares that sometimes it’s more appealing to stop talking to someone than it is to confront them. Especially if there’s not a relationship established, some people would rather just move past it altogether without acknowledging or making it into a big deal.
8 To Avoid Drama
Alex, 27, shares that if someone acts immature or seems to be starting drama by engaging, it’s a reason to ghost. When someone enters your life solely to attempt to gain control or show off, it’s not worth it.
9 He’s Just Not That Into You
Greg Behrendt, 54, author of He’s Just Not That Into You and consultant on the show Sex and the City potentially said it best in his candid (and uncensored) clip talking about why men stop responding or don’t follow through. It may be a bitter pill to swallow, but most of the time when someone ghosts you, it’s because they’re not into you – plain and simple. Even though there may be an underlying reason or exchange that led to it, ghosting is a way to convey disinterest without actually having to say why after all.
Although it may seem hurtful or annoying, someone who’s ghosting you is not really worth the effort or time dwelling over why. Especially when it may have absolutely nothing to do with you, personally, in the first place. So the next time someone ghosts you, take into consideration some of the reasons that may apply to your situation and move on with your head held high.